Monday, March 21, 2011
I didn't write about Happy before because I thought that a post about a ridiculously cute fur ball might just be silly. But now, I wonder if I didn't mention her because on some level I knew that her days were numbered. Last Wednesday evening, Happy the bunny was hit by a car, and Isabel and I had to make the tough decision to put her to sleep. "I don't want her in more pain, Mommy. I can handle it." It was very very sad. For both of us. This little bunny came into our lives last October when we went to the fish store to replace Isabel's recently deceased fish, "Owl-Freak". Instead, we came home with Happy. She was irresistible. Cutest little thing. Mellow and friendly, beyond snuggly. We would take her everywhere. To the market, to the park, to Mike's gigs..Besides the constant threat of bunny pee, she was very portable. Alas, Happy grew and grew and while she continued to be cute, she began to be less friendly and less mellow. Basically, she grew up to be a Rabbit. A wild rabbit. One who likes to nip and nibble and use her big feet to kick out of her cage and run free. Fast and furiously. After many scratches and endless chases around the yard, neither Isabel or I gave up on her. We loved that crazy rabbit. As much as I joked that she was a pain and I should just "lose" her, I can't seem to shake the sadness. I can't bare to face her empty hutch. Isabel was devastated to see her bunny hurt, but now that she is gone, she has skipped past the trauma like a philosophical soldier. I am a wimp. Or, perhaps I am just placing weight on the significance of these experiences on my daughter. I watched her walk onto the play ground the morning after. She waved goodbye and eased into a group of friends already playing a game. She has a healing wound on her forehead from a recent emergency room trip, and she just lost her pet bunny. My baby is in the world, living a life. She has stories to tell now. She's beginning to learn that life is complex and that it involves pain and hurt, love and loss. But, she seems ok with it. For her, I wonder if I'll ever be.